Spirituality vs Religous Ceremonies

Spiritual. Religious. Couples come to me with many different beliefs. Everyone has something they believe in. Whether or not they wish to incorporate those beliefs is something considered when couples begin the planning of their wedding celebration with me.

So what's the difference between spiritual and religious?

I came across an article in Psychology Today which really defines spirituality very well:

Spirituality means something different to everyone. For some, it's about participating in organized religion: going to church, synagogue, a mosque, etc. For others, it's more personal: Some people get in touch with their spiritual side through private prayer, yoga, meditation, quiet reflection, or even long walks.

In regards to the term religious, I found this definition from an online dictionary site which I believe defines this word well:

Having or showing a belief in and veneration for God or a divine power, especially as it is reflected in the practice of religion. Religious implies adherence to religion in both belief and practice.

Many times, couples wish to honor their spirituality in their wedding ceremony. This can be achieved in various ways. Often times, it is with a blessing which I will say or will be given by a special person in the couple's lives. Another option is incorporating a mini-ceremony such as the unity candle or a hand fasting ceremony. Other times, a spiritual based poem may be read or a ceremonial tradition such as a Native American sage cleansing ceremony.

When there is a couple that has two different faiths, it is finding a balance to have an interfaith ceremony. This may be a combination of Native American beliefs with Christian beliefs; Christian and Jewish beliefs; or an Eastern faith in combination with Christian beliefs. There are many ways to incorporate two different religious beliefs into one ceremony.

Sometimes couples will ask to incorporate their pastor or other religious figure into the ceremony I am presiding over. Other times, a grandparent, uncle or brother may be asked to present their religious beliefs. I am always willing to incorporate any of these ideas! I always say that a wedding celebration should be as unique as the couple, all the while reflecting what is important to the couple while complimenting who they are, their values and beliefs.

Wedding Rings

I once had a groom joke with me about whether or not I supplied my couples with the wedding rings. Hey, it never hurts to ask! (Just so you know, the answer is no.)

Looking for the perfect ring can be a daunting task. There are so many options out there!! Do you want to have matching bands? White gold, yellow gold, platinum, silver, titanium...... Diamonds or other precious stones? Decisions, decisions!! Regardless of what you select, I always suggest that my couples take into consideration a few things before they settle on "the ring".

1- Is the ring that you are looking for within your price range?
This may sound like a no brainer, but for many couples, it can be easily overlooked. I think any girl would love to wear a beautiful ring upon her finger. Lots of sparkle and something you could see from a football field away is going to come with a hefty price. Although many jewelry stores offer financing options, that pretty ring could easily double, triple or more in price after the interest fees are added upon the original cost.
Consider opting for a ring that you can either upgrade at a later time or, better yet, mark an anniversary with a trip to your jeweler to purchase a more elaborate set.

2- Does the ring you are considering match your lifestyle? Your personality?
This may seem like a ridiculous question but really, take a moment to consider this. It somewhat ties into the price range question I posed above but takes it a step further. If you are working in the service industry, would wearing a flashy ring be practical? For example, my husband in a journeyman plumber by trade. He also wears a large ring size. Although he doesn't work 24/7, he does spend quite a bit of time at work during the week. The combination of what he does for a living and the need to work with his hands often made him consider looking for a ring that was a comfort fit. He also selected a ring of a strong metal with impressions in the metal versus having a ring with diamonds, which could easily become lost. Some of his coworkers choose to wear their rings on a chain because of the risk of their rings becoming damaged or being a safety issue.

A ring that matches your personality is also something to consider. Some people want a ring that is unique just as their personalities. Others may opt to have a more modest wedding ring, without too many bells and whistles. Regardless of your reasons, consider a piece that is reflective of who you are and your style.

3- What does your ring symbolize?
Remember, a wedding ring is an outward symbol of your wedding vows. These promises that you made during your wedding ceremony mean different things to different people. At the end of the day, when you catch yourself glancing down at that left ring finger remind yourself of your commitment to your spouse and the words that you answered with "I will", "I do" or maybe wrote and spoke yourself.

I know, so many variables to consider!

Wedding Expos....... What Are They All About?

It seems like the wedding industry doesn't limit itself to the traditional month of June or to summertime. Wedding expos are being held in the fall and the spring. Often, I am asked if I attend these shows either as a vendor or to check out my competition. The short answer is no & no.

As I enter my 9th year in my field, I have been featured at an open house and as a guest vendor at the Tulalip Resort hosted bridal expo. At my mother's urging many years ago, I attended as a visitor with her. (She had gotten free tickets and I buckled under pressure.) Most often they are held on the weekend. As you can imagine, this is a conflict in scheduling if you offer services to a client base who more often than not get married on the weekend.

Although it can be seen as a great way to be exposed to brides & grooms to be, it also can seem like a day at the market. Generally, there are booths lined up elbow to elbow with each other while mesmerized guests, willing or unwilling, walk to and fro while vendors offer their pamphlets and samples. The cost to these events is also an expense, for all who are attending. Did you know that it is not uncommon for a wedding vendor to have to pay upwards of $400-$1000 a day at a booth? Yes! The venues which host these events are literally making money hand over fist. That kind of advertising is a bit rich for my taste.

With the exposure and power of the internet, it makes wedding expos almost seem like a thing of the past. The number of customers I can reach at the touch of a few key words can help me drum up business quicker than I could toss my business cards out. I like to work smarter, not harder. Don't mistake this for me being lazy -- there's only so many hours in one day. I am all about maximizing my time and my resources. I just find investing my money into advertising throughout the year to be a bit more effective than a weekend shot.

For the first time brides, eager mothers of the brides or grooms, and for those who want to "check out the competition" wedding expos can serve their purpose. Afterall, you can't hear the music from the different DJ booths live or taste cake samples when you are online!!

New Look To The Website!

Happy 2014!!


I hope that you all have had a good start to this new year. It is hard to believe that another year has come and gone.

I wanted to announce the official new look of my wedding website. Thanks to my brother Jason Mondares for helping me make the switch from my old website server to my new server. He was a lifesaver in helping me preserve the contents as I transitioned. In the move, I modified some of the information as well as included some new information. I have expanded my services to include my colleague, Debi, who joins my team. I also have listed additional services that I have offered over the years, including event planning, post-wedding marital working sessions, & premarital classes. All rates are shared on my site, making information easily accessible.

Check it out -- same website address at www.upbeatweddingofficiant.com

Wedding Photography -- Don't Try This At Home, Folks!!

** photo courtesy of Melissa Miksch Photography  www.melissamiksch.com **

Budget, budget, budget...... MUST. STAY. ON. BUDGET.

Sound familiar?

This is often the first thing I hear when I meet with couples. The infamous budget. We all have one, or do we? Some are more detail oriented or are much more disciplined to follow one. Others find themselves overspending and left scrambling to find the means and resources to pay for expenses that come alongside a wedding. Where can corners be cut? Is it the guest list or will it be on a service? Often times it is one of the services being paid for and too often I see it in the areas of photography, planning, or music. Right now, I want to turn your attention to the subject matter of wedding photos. (More on the latter, later.)

There is a saying about good intentions. Often times, couples may be approached by a well-meaning family member or friend who offers to be the wedding photographer to help save the bridal couple money. Who doesn't think free or "just a few hundred bucks" sounds better than $1500 - $5000? I myself am a lover of a good deal but you must be careful because you always will get what you pay for.

I remember a story told to me by a bride I served several years ago. Her friend hired a "photographer" from Craiglist for "cheap". (In my modest opinion, cheap and wedding should NEVER be used in the same sentence.....) Upon arrival, the "photographer" had in hand his "equipment", which was a camera phone. This was at the height of the magical, mystical invention of the camera phone for the common folk. In absolute horror, the bride and her family were scrambling to locate someone with a camera just hours before the festivities were to begin. They were left out of pocket "a few hundred bucks" and had resorted to purchasing disposable cameras that they handed out to their guests to use.

Definately far from picture perfect memories.

During my eight year career as a wedding officiant, I have worked with many a photographer. Just like anything wedding related, there are many choices. Creativity and skill are important factors just as much as price. Remember, you are paying for the service and the person's time, equipment, second shooter (or assistant), too. What is the personality of the photographer? How is his or her customer service? What is their turn around time on average to get the final product back? Is there the option of owning the rights to your photos? Can the photographer use your wedding photos in their advertising, their portfolio, or enter your smiling faces into competitions? These are a few questions to keep in mind after you ask if they are available to shoot your nuptuals.

Often times, the photographer(s) will be the ones to work with the couple from the start to the end of the wedding day. After the ceremony is done, after your hair and makeup is on, and after the paperwork is signed, you can imagine there are still images you would like to have documented afterwards. How about that father/daughter dance? The cutting of the cake? How about a random shot of your bridesmaid dancing with her future husband? These are often highlights of the reception afterwards. Do you really want a stuffy, arrogant, or aloof person behind the camera?

Word of mouth is just as important as online reviews. Did a co-worker recently get married? Or do you have a friend who uses the same photographer to take her family photos as she did when she got her senior portraits done? Don't be afraid to ask around. Ask for referrals to photographers from your wedding venue, the catering company, or your wedding officiant. Regardless of how you find your photographer, remind yourself that this day with the person you marry will only come once. Your photographer will help you remember events of your special day that you may need a picture or two to jog your memory.

Marry Me At The Marysville Opera House!

 

                   Pictured above: Tiffani the wedding officiant with newlyweds Audrey & Adam

More Than Just Wedding Officiants

Isn't it nice when you can stretch your dollar?

I know I always appreciate more "bang for my buck" and when I'm looking for someone who is offering a services it's no different. I want someone who has experience, is a great resource, and who goes beyond what is expected to get the job done. We all like to walk away from a situation with a smile on our face and a feeling of fulfillment. So how does this apply to your wedding?

A wedding, no matter how big or small, comes with expenses. There's the much needed wedding paperwork (starting rate at $58 depending on county). The wedding rings, which can run a few hundred dollars to a few thousand dollars. What will you wear? Another expense. Do you have to take time off from work? Another expense. The list goes on and on and on. Who's going to do your wedding? Good question because otherwise it is just a big gathering of family and friends.

With over 12 years of combined experience, Debi and I offer our skills set to help alleviate your stress and free up your time. We can offer wedding coordinating and planning services in addition to our wedding officiant services. We know what needs to be done before the ceremony, before the reception, during and after. We have gained this experience hands on after serving over 500 couples.

Wedding planning can help you through the details. Wedding coordinating services can help you through along the way by meeting vendors to handling all of the events the day of. What best suits your needs?

Call Tiffani at 425-508-8090 to learn more! Rates start at $300 for planning services & $600 for wedding coordinating services.