Spirituality vs Religous Ceremonies

Spiritual. Religious. Couples come to me with many different beliefs. Everyone has something they believe in. Whether or not they wish to incorporate those beliefs is something considered when couples begin the planning of their wedding celebration with me.

So what's the difference between spiritual and religious?

I came across an article in Psychology Today which really defines spirituality very well:

Spirituality means something different to everyone. For some, it's about participating in organized religion: going to church, synagogue, a mosque, etc. For others, it's more personal: Some people get in touch with their spiritual side through private prayer, yoga, meditation, quiet reflection, or even long walks.

In regards to the term religious, I found this definition from an online dictionary site which I believe defines this word well:

Having or showing a belief in and veneration for God or a divine power, especially as it is reflected in the practice of religion. Religious implies adherence to religion in both belief and practice.

Many times, couples wish to honor their spirituality in their wedding ceremony. This can be achieved in various ways. Often times, it is with a blessing which I will say or will be given by a special person in the couple's lives. Another option is incorporating a mini-ceremony such as the unity candle or a hand fasting ceremony. Other times, a spiritual based poem may be read or a ceremonial tradition such as a Native American sage cleansing ceremony.

When there is a couple that has two different faiths, it is finding a balance to have an interfaith ceremony. This may be a combination of Native American beliefs with Christian beliefs; Christian and Jewish beliefs; or an Eastern faith in combination with Christian beliefs. There are many ways to incorporate two different religious beliefs into one ceremony.

Sometimes couples will ask to incorporate their pastor or other religious figure into the ceremony I am presiding over. Other times, a grandparent, uncle or brother may be asked to present their religious beliefs. I am always willing to incorporate any of these ideas! I always say that a wedding celebration should be as unique as the couple, all the while reflecting what is important to the couple while complimenting who they are, their values and beliefs.

Wedding Rings

I once had a groom joke with me about whether or not I supplied my couples with the wedding rings. Hey, it never hurts to ask! (Just so you know, the answer is no.)

Looking for the perfect ring can be a daunting task. There are so many options out there!! Do you want to have matching bands? White gold, yellow gold, platinum, silver, titanium...... Diamonds or other precious stones? Decisions, decisions!! Regardless of what you select, I always suggest that my couples take into consideration a few things before they settle on "the ring".

1- Is the ring that you are looking for within your price range?
This may sound like a no brainer, but for many couples, it can be easily overlooked. I think any girl would love to wear a beautiful ring upon her finger. Lots of sparkle and something you could see from a football field away is going to come with a hefty price. Although many jewelry stores offer financing options, that pretty ring could easily double, triple or more in price after the interest fees are added upon the original cost.
Consider opting for a ring that you can either upgrade at a later time or, better yet, mark an anniversary with a trip to your jeweler to purchase a more elaborate set.

2- Does the ring you are considering match your lifestyle? Your personality?
This may seem like a ridiculous question but really, take a moment to consider this. It somewhat ties into the price range question I posed above but takes it a step further. If you are working in the service industry, would wearing a flashy ring be practical? For example, my husband in a journeyman plumber by trade. He also wears a large ring size. Although he doesn't work 24/7, he does spend quite a bit of time at work during the week. The combination of what he does for a living and the need to work with his hands often made him consider looking for a ring that was a comfort fit. He also selected a ring of a strong metal with impressions in the metal versus having a ring with diamonds, which could easily become lost. Some of his coworkers choose to wear their rings on a chain because of the risk of their rings becoming damaged or being a safety issue.

A ring that matches your personality is also something to consider. Some people want a ring that is unique just as their personalities. Others may opt to have a more modest wedding ring, without too many bells and whistles. Regardless of your reasons, consider a piece that is reflective of who you are and your style.

3- What does your ring symbolize?
Remember, a wedding ring is an outward symbol of your wedding vows. These promises that you made during your wedding ceremony mean different things to different people. At the end of the day, when you catch yourself glancing down at that left ring finger remind yourself of your commitment to your spouse and the words that you answered with "I will", "I do" or maybe wrote and spoke yourself.

I know, so many variables to consider!

Wedding Expos....... What Are They All About?

It seems like the wedding industry doesn't limit itself to the traditional month of June or to summertime. Wedding expos are being held in the fall and the spring. Often, I am asked if I attend these shows either as a vendor or to check out my competition. The short answer is no & no.

As I enter my 9th year in my field, I have been featured at an open house and as a guest vendor at the Tulalip Resort hosted bridal expo. At my mother's urging many years ago, I attended as a visitor with her. (She had gotten free tickets and I buckled under pressure.) Most often they are held on the weekend. As you can imagine, this is a conflict in scheduling if you offer services to a client base who more often than not get married on the weekend.

Although it can be seen as a great way to be exposed to brides & grooms to be, it also can seem like a day at the market. Generally, there are booths lined up elbow to elbow with each other while mesmerized guests, willing or unwilling, walk to and fro while vendors offer their pamphlets and samples. The cost to these events is also an expense, for all who are attending. Did you know that it is not uncommon for a wedding vendor to have to pay upwards of $400-$1000 a day at a booth? Yes! The venues which host these events are literally making money hand over fist. That kind of advertising is a bit rich for my taste.

With the exposure and power of the internet, it makes wedding expos almost seem like a thing of the past. The number of customers I can reach at the touch of a few key words can help me drum up business quicker than I could toss my business cards out. I like to work smarter, not harder. Don't mistake this for me being lazy -- there's only so many hours in one day. I am all about maximizing my time and my resources. I just find investing my money into advertising throughout the year to be a bit more effective than a weekend shot.

For the first time brides, eager mothers of the brides or grooms, and for those who want to "check out the competition" wedding expos can serve their purpose. Afterall, you can't hear the music from the different DJ booths live or taste cake samples when you are online!!

New Look To The Website!

Happy 2014!!


I hope that you all have had a good start to this new year. It is hard to believe that another year has come and gone.

I wanted to announce the official new look of my wedding website. Thanks to my brother Jason Mondares for helping me make the switch from my old website server to my new server. He was a lifesaver in helping me preserve the contents as I transitioned. In the move, I modified some of the information as well as included some new information. I have expanded my services to include my colleague, Debi, who joins my team. I also have listed additional services that I have offered over the years, including event planning, post-wedding marital working sessions, & premarital classes. All rates are shared on my site, making information easily accessible.

Check it out -- same website address at www.upbeatweddingofficiant.com